Loosely

Loosely

for everything there is a season…

This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

With each day, there are new beginnings. Some we choose...some just happen in the natural course of life and we learn to adjust.

For me, my new beginnings these days feel as daunting as the open sea which appears before me. I’m still adjusting...even two years into it. I have been known to take my time on things, so the delay is no wonder. The recent move of my youngest child to her college apartment has reminded me of my slow progress. I am still adjusting to new waters. The waters where my two little ones are well beyond little. Indeed, they are big enough to be swimming it alone these days.

It continues to be new territory for them and for me. Obviously, you never stop being a parent, no matter your child’s age. For 25 years, I have navigated the different waters of parenting. There were the years that were physically demanding when my children were infants and toddlers. You’ve heard the saying, and it is so true. They were long days, but short years. And then, the demands changed. The years became emotionally demanding with teens, helping them negotiate those unsteady waters. Yet again, the years felt short. High school graduations came in a blink of an eye, quickly after my children learned how to drive.

The challenges and demands have varied throughout the years. And though you could say the waters continually changed from rough to calm seas and back again, one thing was constant. My children were at home...it felt we were navigating the seas beside one another, through it all.

Enter empty nest...two years ago for me. Or in this case, empty nest could be called “swimming solo.” I still don’t have a handle on what this water looks like. And that’s okay, because I know it’s less a race and more like a journey. I’m not supposed to have it all figured out.

In many ways, my relationship with my children hasn’t changed, despite our different residences. Thankfully, we still talk often...we still laugh hard. And yes, we still disagree at times, but we still love at all times.

Of course, I still worry. That has definitely not changed, but it is tricky now. My sense of control or managing their lives is gone. It went when they left.

It’s still parenting...just parenting from afar most days.

I still swim though...once a swimmer, always a swimmer...I’m just maybe a little less frantic these days. You see, I am practicing a new stroke of “holding it and them loosely.” It’s not perfect...even practice probably won’t make it so...but it is definitely becoming a more graceful stroke.

Through practice, I continue to be reminded that it has always been their life to live, and now it’s time for me to loosen my hold...for them to decide and steer their course...determine their own strokes.

And, just as it has always been their life, I’m reminded that they have always been His children as well. He is still swimming right beside them. And now even more, on that I hold tight and rely.

You see...with that assurance, I can definitely rejoice and be glad in it...for certain.